I hated college.
Not the learning part – but just about everything else. A typical weekend for me was heading to the movies (normally alone – for about 2-3 years), reading backlogs of old Dilbert strips or staring amorously at pictures of Sasuke Uchiha. I spent my entire college career wondering if there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t fitting in. Because I had already transferred once, I was hoping that I could just dive in and try to make it work.
Nope. Didn’t happen, and I’m still kinda pissed about it.
So when I started reading and hearing more about the so-called Quarterlife Crisis, I thought it was made-up. College, for me, wasn’t a bubble, and leaving it didn’t burst any illusions I had about post-graduate life. College pretty much killed me spiritually and emotionally, and I honestly don’t know how I got through it. So when I read about people losing their minds soon after leaving what I experienced as a total hellhole, I told myself that I was immune to the QLC.
Soon when I jettisoned off to Seattle to avoid sharing a room with my younger brother, I had no idea what to expect. My first job consisted of me knocking on people’s doors, asking for donations for the ASPCA. You don’t know what hard work is until you have to spend all day getting rejected and trying to remain hopeful at each new door. Though I loathed my actual work, I enjoyed the connections I made immensely. It taught me that I possess the once sought after ability to make friends and have people like me for me. Even though my weekends weren’t quite as thrilling, at least I had friends who I could talk to at work. About a month later, with a combination of burn out and overall job dissatisfaction, I walked off the job and went to work at an arcade.
I made some awesome friends who I still talk to, and miss dearly, but my job wasn’t giving me what I needed. I remember speaking to my friend who wanted to work in illustration, and how he lamented the fact that he had to still work there. He wanted a more creative job, and I felt bad for him as I continued job hunting trying to find something better for myself. At times I wondered if this was what college was like for normal people: having conversations with friends, watching people’s romantic relationships burst and blossom. It was great.
So when does my QLC start, exactly?
It starts in the fall when my room mate starts having really loud sex with me next door. It starts when my room mate gets rid of his cat (whom I love dearly) because the cat hates his guts. It starts when I become increasingly paranoid about losing my job, and being unable to find another one to replace it. It starts when I look at new places to live and realize that I can’t afford to live alone and might have to suffer through another horrible room mate situation.
It starts when I realize how much my life sucks.
So yeah, unlike some graduates, I had a job and a place to live that wasn’t with my parents. But I was miserable: my job provided no sense of satisfaction, I hated my living situation, and my day to day routine had become a monotony of me watching old episodes of South Park every night.
So I quit my job, dump my room mate and move back East to stay with my grandparents. After reading Penelope Trunk’s blog, I knew that I had to take more control over my career. And as I continue to blog, I realize how much I need to take control over my life. My QLC isn’t exactly over, because I still struggle with being unsatisfied with my life on a grand scale, but at least I’m taking steps toward resolving that. I live with people (and puppies) I love, I don’t work a job that has me feeling worthless and overworked every day and I have the time and energy to spend on doing what I want: blogging and connecting with people.
Even though I loathed my college experience, at least it kept me open-minded to what life had to offer because nothing could be half as bad as what I spent four years enduring. My QLC started when I began to live life and realized that I wasn’t living it the way I wanted, and now I’m taking the time to fix that. It’s a slow, but exciting, awakening.
Tatiana loves blogging about race, sexuality and gender – how it pertains personally and in the Universe. She loves social media and have been making awesome connections in the process. She says she definitely wants to rule the world. Follower her on Twitter: @parisianfeline
If you are interested in contributing to the Quarterlife Crisis series feel free to contact me.